I had just returned from one of my distant adventures…

Some people call it “work”  but I just find that word so limiting and somehow inaccurate…regardless.  I had just returned and was eager for some quiet time with my family.

My family isn’t big on quiet time.  As a matter of fact how I live my life and how they live there lives are significantly different.  None the less we find a way to make it work.  Respecting my need for bonding with my sons and quiet time they suggested we rent some movies ( which actually means buying some movies from the movie rental place).

As we were pulling into the parking lot of the rental place, Fredrik (my husband) was finishing his tale of his recent outstanding purchases from the very establishment we would be visiting.

“Four movies for 20.00 dollars” he said
“ wow that’s a really good deal, are they older, what’s the catch?” I asked
“ No no no, they’re all recent movies it’s just this amazing deal”
“cool” I said 

Once we entered the store…

Fred and Erik were quick to show me the selection I had, and that I could pick 4 movies for 20.00 from “ there, there and there”  they indicated using a spinning motion with their hands, in the direction of what I believed to be where I could choose my movies.

As I was only half listening (I do that sometimes, actually a lot lol)  I split from them and went to find my movies.

We had managed to find four movies to add to our collection, all from the designated area….4 for 20.00 how brilliant.

Fast forward to the cash… time to pay for our purchases.

After asking our personal details, the clerk at the cash announced:

“ Sir you have four overdue rentals, I am unable to process this order until those rentals are returned and you pay the over due fees”

“What? I don’t have any rentals at home”

The young man went on, reading from his computer screen he listed off the titles of the movies. Wouldn’t you know it they were the same names as the movies that Fredrik, Erik and Jonathan thought they had purchased for 20.00!

“No” Fredrik said “I didn’t rent those movies I bought them for 20.00”
“ Well” the young man said “ they weren’t for sale they were for rent 4 for 20, that’s our big promo we have on”

“No” Erik and Fredrik said simultaneously, then added “ the guy said we could buy any of those movies over there “ indicated with an outstretched arm and pointing fingers in the general direction of where they selected their movies, “ 4  for 20 bucks”

“which guy where?” asked the clerk, somewhat perplexed.

Fredrik went on to explain the whole story…

“ last Saturday we came in and some guy gave us a tour of the place and told us that there was a big promotion and that all the movies over there (indicating again) were buy 4 for 20. He also went on and told us where the oldies are to buy and the rentals and so on. So we picked up 4 for 20, and went on our way.  We’ve come back today to get more – 4 for 20.”

The clerk explained “ We have rent 4 for 20” and coming out from behind the counter walked over to the relevant area touching each applicable aisle and pointing to the signage as he passed “you can choose from here… here….here….and here, but they are rentals not for purchase” and then returned to the cash.

“I’ll tell you what” he said

“ clearly there has been a misunderstanding, so I’m not going to charge you the late fee on the rentals.  I’ll put a note on the computer so when you return them you won’t get charged, good?”

“Sure, ok””but he said…” I interrupted at this point, speaking in Swedish essentially I told him to shut up, be grateful the guys generosity and obviously the fellow in front of him knows the pricing better than us.  He argued a bit saying that the other guy said, and he should have known and blah blah blah.

He said his piece to me and shut up.

The clerk asked “ Ok?”

Fredrik succumbed  and with a sign “ ok”

“ now I take it you don’t want to rent these 4 movies you’ve selected today right?”

Unspecified referential indexing can lead to a lot of confusion.

“Unspecified referential index” is used whenever there is a a generalization of the people, places or things being talked about.

Saying “People find this Meta Model Pattern easy” uses the unspecified referential index “people” to make an over generalization.  -(reference – NLP Coach)

I suspect that the original clerk showed Fredrik and Erik the promo area, in much the same way they showed me…

from “ there, there and there” they indicated using a spinning motion with their hands, in the direction of what I believed to be where I could choose my movies.

In their excitement they decided that they knew exactly where “there” was and were happily on their way. Did the clerk make an error and tell them the wrong promo (they….Fredrik and Erik insist he did) or did Fredrik and Erik misunderstand (he….the clerk serving us this second time, insists they did)

Such is life….what can you do?

You can ask, that’s what you can do, whenever you’re not certain, just smile and ask.

Have you spotted the Unspecified Referential Index(several) in this article.

here’s to awareness
love jackey

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